I’ve been fighting hard a combination of feeling like a failure mixed in with a healthy dose of imposter syndrome. I keep reminding myself that there was a major medical emergency in my family in the weeks following the release of Chaos Wolf, as well as a change to the family dynamic. Though they both had positive outcomes in the long run, getting there was a long road. A long, energy draining road.
This whole time all I could be thinking about was the things I hadn’t written. I wasn’t writing Chaos Wolf’s sequel. I wasn’t writing short stories. I wasn’t writing for my blog. I wasn’t writing anything on Facebook. I wasn’t writing.
But I was recovering. And recovering requires resting. It requires healing. Every time I look back at that time and think that I should have been writing, I should be further than where I am, I remind myself that I was recovering.
In self-publishing, there’s a toxic mindset that the only way to be financially successful is to constantly churn out content, such as releasing multiple books in a year on a regular basis. It’s one of those truisms you hear about writing such as ‘you’re not a writer if you don’t write every day’ or ‘write what you know.’ And maybe it is possible to publish multiple books and make a living. Given the cost of living where I am, I don’t think that is possible for me.
So I’m focusing on moving forward, and reminding myself that I wasn’t being lazy, I was recovering. I shouldn’t be looking behind me for ‘wasted time’ but forward at a deadline I want to to meet. If I don’t make that one, I will reset it and keep moving forward.
